you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
