I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
my liver is dry heaving
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
