dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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