It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
