so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
