My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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