His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
we're making bets on your personal life
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
