So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
fuck your aforementioned shoe
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
tell me about the fingering
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