There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
