??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Can Purell be used as lube?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
