It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize