fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
