It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
