I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
