a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
