we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
