we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
