i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
