After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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