Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize