she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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