***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
