You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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