Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
