So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
