they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
