i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
