You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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