people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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