It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
