What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
