you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
