your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize