His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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