so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
