This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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