covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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