ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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