thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
