I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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