only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
