Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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