Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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