i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
