So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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