If that was your dad, he is hot
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize
