Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
