Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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