Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
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