I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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