I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
