and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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