just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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