btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize