Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
