I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
