I heard we made out
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
