I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
