Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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