He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
