We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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