Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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