people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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