What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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