So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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