Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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